Monday, January 28, 2008

Why I'll never be a haz-mat investigator

I have aloe vera between my index and middle finger on my left hand from a steam burn and both my tongue and throat are still screaming in pain from when I sampled WAAAAAYYYY too-hot coffee.

And I was only at my new job for four hours today.

Stupid coffee shop job.

I'm used to working at a desk in an office where the only hazardous situation I have to worry about is getting a paper cut - something I used to do often enough.

Anyone who knows me realizes that I'm kind of a klutz.

The fiance has stopped asking me about the bruises on my legs (from bumping into furniture that I KNOW is there) and the open sores and blisters that regularly develop on my heels and toes (from walking in high heels - for his benefit, I might add!).

I'll openly admit that I don't shave my legs as often as society dictates (I've heard there are women who shave, like, every day. What the heck?) because the razor always gets away from me, and I end up with a few minor slits all over my legs. One time, I didn't realize I was shaving with a defective razor and when I looked down, there were so many cuts on the bottom of my right leg that I needed to wrap it with an Ace bandage because it would have taken too many Band-aids to patch them all up. I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death that night.

But that still isn't as bad as slitting my wrist - which I did often enough while attempting to cut a long wedge out of a loaf of bread when I was 14 years old and working as a "Sandwich Artist" at Subway. And that was in front of customers!

So apparently I'm not made to do my new job.

I'll take paper cuts over third-degree burns any day!

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