To cut or not to cut... that's the question

"Erika? Hi, nice to meet you. Now let me see your breasts."

OK, so he didn't actually use those words, but I was still rather uncomfortable with the thought that the breast surgeon who was going to walk through the door - whom I had never met before - was going to want to see me topless.

I know, I know: He does these kinds of things on a daily basis, but before moving to New York, I had never, ever had a male primary doctor or gynecologist. I just feel more comfortable with women because I think they can better relate to what I'm going through - especially with female matters.

Lucky for me, the doctor who walked through the door was a lanky, balding man with friendly blue eyes and a nice smile. He spoke softly, but confidently and looked me right in the eye as he answered all of my questions - even the ones I didn't think to ask - and even drew pictures to illustrate what he was explaining when I didn't fully understand.

For this, I was grateful, because after he patiently sat and answered all my questions, he left the decision in my hands. What I have to do now is decide whether to have surgery to remove the tumor in my breast.

Long story short, I found a lump in my breast in May, 2009, and went through a biopsy that confirmed it was benign. But because it has recently been causing some brief bouts of pain, my gynecologist suggested I see a specialist. So here I am trying to figure out whether I should go through with surgery.

If I don't, the tumor could get bigger, but the doctor said it's not cancerous and it isn't causing any harm except potentially the discomfort I've been experiencing. He said he'd support my decision to not go through with surgery, as it's smaller than the tumors that he normally recommends be removed.

On the other hand, do I really want to have surgery when it's not completely necessary? Do I want to be sedated and have something removed from my body that, while it's not supposed to be there, is not really hurting anything making camp near the bottom of my armpit? Do I want to have yet another scar from stitches to join the ones in my thumb and the ones in my eyebrow from getting hit in the head with a croquet mallet when I was 5 years old? The answer to all of these questions: Not really.

My doctor was helpful in the fact that he said he would support my decision either way, but not so helpful in that he didn't give me a clear-cut direction on which way to go. My mom was the same way, but my husband was absolutely adamant that it's something I should do. His feeling is you should be proactive and take care of things like this before they change or get worse.

Though it makes me nervous, I think I agree.