As if freezing out in the cold for seven hours was even an option

I love going to back to Toledo, but now that I have two families - mine and my husband's - it's so much harder to strike a balance between seeing both sides plus any friends I want to catch up with while I'm home.

And this weekend was even more difficult because the main reason we trekked back to Toledo was for Brent, his three good friends from MBA school, and all their wives to get together and catch up.

So we landed in Toledo Thursday evening and our flight out on Sunday was at 6 a.m. Saturday was shot because we planned on being in Ann Arbor all day at the University of Michigan/Michigan State football game, so that left a whopping one day to try to cram everyone in at least once.

But since I've had several opportunities to practice, I think I've got this thing down to a science.

I'll plan one meal - preferably dinner, but I'll settle for a lunch - with all of my friends. Most of them know each other, so that makes it easier and more fun.

That leaves the morning and breakfast with one family and the afternoon or evening with the other family. After an exhausting Friday doing just this - and getting some random shopping in so we could take advantage of Midwestern price tags - I was actually looking forward to a relaxing Saturday eating and drinking at the tailgate party before the football game.

But then, after talking with his buddies, Brent told me there had been a SLIGHT change of plans. One of the couples wasn't able to make it for the weekend, so that left us and two other couples. Neither of the wives were too keen on the idea of being outside in the cold to watch an entire game - it was October after all - so Brent informed me that he was going to the game with his friends by himself by sneakily first telling me, "Hey, guess what you get to do?! Spend more time with your family!"

This is where I gave him the now-we're-married-so-there-are-no-more-unilateral-decisions-especially-when-it-concerns-both-of-us speech. But I was still upset because I actually do love going to live football games.

So I was stuck with a when-life-gives-you-lemons-then-make-lemonade sort of problem. And I kicked ass at it.

Since I now had several hours to fill that I didn't have before -and that I never have when I go home - I booked an hour-long massage for myself at my favorite Toledo-area salon and asked my sister - who's in the middle of her cosmetology school program - if she had any openings for me.

So while my husband and his two friends stood in the cold and shared a case of beer and a bag of Fritos they were given from a nearby tailgating party that actually THOUGHT to bring food to a tailgating party, I was lying on a soft, heated table getting an amazing full-body massage followed by a pedicure and fancy hair updo, courtesy of my sister, while visiting her at her work with my mom.

Then I drove in my toasty warm (borrowed) car up to Ann Arbor to meet up with the sore guys - who had been standing for tailgating and the entire game - and the wives at a nice restaurant/bar for dinner, where us girls listened to our husbands complain about the cold and the standing, etc.

Afterward, I drove my exhausted husband home and marveled at just how great that lemonade tasted.

It was great, but seriously, let me sleep already

I love having my family around, whether it's when I'm back in Ohio/Michigan or whether they come to visit me in New York.

That's why, this past spring when my mom and sister came to visit me, I jokingly kept suggesting that they come back in September. I had plans to visit Ohio in both June for my wedding and in August for my cousin's wedding, but nothing after that had been nailed down.

I'm OK when I know when I'll see my family again. It alleviates the loneliness a little bit.

So I was pleasantly surprised when my mom called me out of the blue in early September and said she was planning a visit to New York "just because." She said she had talked to my dad and they decided that her coming out here twice a year would be OK.

Little did I know when I went to sleep the day before she arrived that it would be the last time I'd sleep in a LOOOOONNNGGGG time.

Among the highlights in our crazy whirlwind of a five-day trip are:

- FINALLY having an excuse to use the fondue pot that Brent and I received for our wedding. Y-U-M!!

-Deciding AGAINST going to the NYC Wine & Food Festival because we didn't want to pay $40 per person to rush from business establishment to business establishment in the three-hour-time-period allotted to wait in line to get a sample of wine and take the chance that there might just be food samples. Instead, we went across the street from the festival to eat outside where we could still watch the street performers, shared a bottle of wine, and followed up dinner by going to two crazy trendy bars in the Meatpacking District of NYC.

- Meeting up with some of her cousins and their older kids to wander around the city looking for a place to get cheesecake after the well-known restaurant, Serendipity, told us they were "too busy" to give us takeout. We later were turned down by TWO taxicab drivers, one of whom yelled at us because we asked him to drive in a direction he wasn't currently heading.

- Complaining about how terrible Serendipity REALLY is when, a few days later, we later sat down in the restaurant for dessert. Our plans to split their famous (and trademarked) Frrrozen Hot Chocolate (yes, it's as stupid as it sounds) were derailed when they told us each person had to spend $8.50 apiece. So my mom ordered their drink (which was stale-milk-chocolate flavored) and I ordered a chocolate mousse that was as thick as butter, richer than Donald Trump, and topped with cardboard-flavored whip cream. Needless to say, it was a waste of $20.

- Realizing that we spent nearly an entire day simply riding NYC public transportation. In just one day we rode the subway, then took the cable car to Roosevelt Island, hopped on a bus that drove around the two-mile-long island between Manhattan and Queens, and finally boarded the boat that travels between Manhattan and Staten Island for an evening view of the city from the water. But hell, it was fun.

- Relentlessly teasing Brent when the football team of MY alma mater, The University of Toledo, kicked the ass of HIS alma mater, The "mighty" University of Michigan.

- Spending three hours on bicycles seeing everything we could see in Central Park, including the castle, gardens, and ponds.

- Getting extremely irritated one morning attempting to understand the newfangled coffee/espresso machine that Brent and I received for our wedding so we could finally have cappuccinos even though I work at a freakin' coffee shop and we could have just got drinks there.

- Attempting to see a good part of The Met even though I knew ahead of time that its collection has reached the two million mark.

- Laughing at ourselves for actually believing the Roosevelt Island bus driver who said it was a MUST to see the island's "famous" lighthouse, which supposedly would illuminate the fish in the water. So after walking quite a ways to find the lighthouse, which wasn't even lit up, we realized the only reason he was so excited about it was because it was the only remotely exciting thing on that damn island.

- Touring Brooklyn before walking across the Brooklyn Bridge to see the art exhibit that features the man-made NYC waterfalls soaring 90 to 120 feet in the air. At night, the four waterfalls were lit up and gorgeous!

- Being diverted away from a park near Brooklyn because they were filming an episode of 30 Rock.

And all this and tons more in five days. I need a 48-hour nap.

At home on the set of a popular TV show

One morning earlier this week, I woke up to literally being on the set of a TV series.

I've said it many times before, but seriously: only in New York.

For a week or so, I've been reminded that the simple task of walking my dog around the block or even walking out of my building might be difficult via the following posted warning on our front door:

"'Law and Order, Special Victims Unit' is scheduled to film in your neighborhood on Monday, Sept. 30 from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. We will try to not cause any neighborhood interruptions."

This has, obviously, never happened to me before, so I didn't quite know what to expect when taking my dog out of the building.

My first impression? TV shows need a hell of a lot of crap. First of all, trailers took up 56th Street from 9th Avenue to 10th Avenue. Many of them were labeled with actors' names, yet I didn't see any of them, though I dawdled quite a bit with Chloe.

Turning the block, all I saw were miles of cables connected to scaffolding, speakers, poles, etc.

One more block turned up tables of food, and another trailer devoted to providing the food right on set.

But still, I didn't SEE any actors. Apparently, they were filming inside the high school that's across the street from my apartment building. Dangit! TV stars right on my block and I didn't even catch a glance at one of them.

But hey, maybe I'll catch a shot of my building in one of their episodes!

The last people on Earth who still use a TV antennae

As I got up off the couch to answer my ringing cell phone earlier this evening, I had an inkling it was Brent just calling to tell me he loved me.

HA! As if.

To my surprise, it was my brother calling from Toledo. Even though my 24-year-old brother and I are close, it's not like he calls me just to talk.

So I was curious to know what he might have to tell me.

"Hi Cal!" I said.

"Hey Erika," he replied. "I just wanted to let you know that today is a momentous occasion in the Ray household." (He's referring to my parents' house.)

"ARE YOU GUYS GETTING CABLE RIGHT NOW!?!?!?" I shouted, mostly because I couldn't think of anything that could be more momentous than that.

"Yes," he replied simply. With that one single word, he confirmed what may be the most significant technological advance that my parents have ever undertaken. Before today, they were the last people in the world who have not jumped on the cable bandwagon.

And I think that's ironic. I know I wasn't even a teenager when my dad introduced me to that newfangled thing called "the Internet." Most of my preteen and teenage years were spent as "OVERRIDE25" in chat rooms or instant messaging random people claiming they were "16/m/Ohio" or "15/m/Michigan." (I chose the moniker "OVERRIDE" after the cool computer hacker chick in the not-so-popular 1995 movie "Hackers.")

My dad has always been technologically savvy and has always had a great fascination with newfangled gadgets. It seems like he updates his computer monitor every year to go with his system that has all the bells and whistles, and once passed down his relatively new camera to me when he got an even newer one.

However, it's important to note that while the computer system is nearly as new as it gets, it's still a dial-up. For those of you who don't remember 1990, that means that one can use either the computer OR the phone, but not both at once because they use the same line. That also means that if you want to download a file, you should click the "download" button in the evening, then go to sleep for the night, and hope that it's finished downloading when you wake up in the morning.

But when it comes to cell phones and the TV, they live ridiculously like it's 1985. Though they were one of the first people I knew of to get a cell phone, they also had THAT EXACT CELL PHONE until about a year ago. I could never understand how people kept a straight face when my mom actually pulled out their cell phone - which had a whopping 30-minute-a-month cell phone plan - and attempted to use it. It was as big as a standard-sized flashlight with a battery almost as big and didn't hold a charge for more than a few minutes at a time. And they never had it on or with them, which made it useless.

And now that they have cell phones with plans that allow them to call long-distance for free, they got rid of that feature on the regular phone. So if my mom or dad have to call anywhere but their own town or maybe the next town over, they have to use their cell phones because their regular phone won't work.

Luckily, my mom updated their cell phone and actually keeps it with her, and my dad adopted my old cell phone a few months ago.

But the poor TV has been neglected for years. The most that's ever been done when it comes to the TV is that it's actually in color. Channels 11, 13, and 36 came in relatively well, but whenever my parents or siblings and I wanted to watch one of the other two channels that came in OK - 24 or 50 or if we were really lucky, one of the nearby Detroit channels - one of us had to go downstairs to adjust the antennae via a control pad. So one of us was downstairs turning the antennae while someone else was upstairs watching the channel we wanted to watch, saying, "It's still fuzzy. Turn it a little more... a little more... TOO MUCH! Change it back."

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

So as you can see, today IS historic for my parents. FINALLY! They will get to watch QUALITY programs, such as "Paris Hilton's My New BFF," "The Hills," and "The Girls Next Door" instead of the boring, same-old, same-old shows such as "60 Minutes" or the local news.

Can somebody get me a tissue... oh wait, I'm sick and all alone

Being sick sucks.

But as I discovered this week, what's worse than being sick is being completely alone and being sick.

I got sick Sunday night, then spent Monday morning trying to find someone to work my Monday night shift. Thankfully, I was off on Tuesday, so I then had two full days to recover from what turned out to be a nasty case of strep throat.

So along with wincing every time I had to swallow - and even feeling the throbbing pains from my throat when I wasn't swallowing - my entire body ached like when I have the flu. So to sum it up, my existence hurt - especially when I moved.

But since Brent was at work both days until after 10 p.m., that meant I had to still get up off the couch, bathtub, or bed - my three sick zones - to get medicine, tissues, extra blankets, food, etc. Since I didn't have any "sick" food - applesauce, juice, ice cream, and cream soda - that meant I also had to go to the grocery store feeling like crap.

When I lived in Toledo and Brent was at work, I would park myself on my parents' couch and have my mom take care of me. And at the very least, if I was sick during the day and she had to work, I would call over a friend to do something low-key, like watch movies.

Here in New York, I'm not comfortable enough with my semi-friends to let them see me in my glasses, sweatpants, and fuzzy slippers with my unwashed hair matted to my forehead. All I had was my dog Chloe, who was great to snuggle with until she got too hot and decided to leave me for the cool tile of the bathroom.

So man was I lonely. I mean, I get lonely a lot, but this was a new kind of lonely. Sure I got some sympathy from my mom over the phone, and caught up on some movies I had been wanting to watch, but that just wasn't the same as being with people. People who care about me who could take care of me.

Such is the trade-off. But it still sucks.

Extra parmesan, please!

If Brent and I do go out, it's on Saturday nights, but I'm usually the one who's pushing for doing something fun. So that's why it was a pleasant surprise when Brent told me out of the blue to call a place called Lombardi's and make a reservation for Saturday.



Even though they don't take reservations on weekends, that didn't stop Brent and I from heading downtown to eat at New York City's first pizzeria.



In going there, I learned that, unsurprisingly, New York City was the birthplace of New York-style pizza (which is very thin pizza without a whole lot of sauce, but a good amount of cheese and big toppings). And Lombardi's was licensed by the City of New York in 1905, making it America's first pizzeria.

Since this pizza place has been perfecting pizza - which is pretty awesome on its own - for more than 100 years, I had high expectations for it.

After waiting for about 45 minutes for a table, we would our way to the back of this restaurant, and through the kitchen, to our quaint table alongside a wall of photos. The most memorable were the ones with the guy feeding pizza to a monkey sitting on his lap in the restaurant (health department must have taken a sick day!) and the ones of the owner shaking hands with celebrities, like Robin Williams.


Though it seemed like a long wait for our large pizza with pepperoni and tomatoes, it was probably because we both saved tons of room to taste this pizza! Plus, it was nice to just sit back with our Diet Cokes and have a conversation with my husband.



When the pizza finally arrived, I have to say it was good, but it wasn't fantastic. It had everything it was supposed to have, but nothing about it stood out. I've had other pizza in New York, and it tasted about the same. I think I was disappointed because I hyped up the place so much in my mind, but apparently all New York City pizza is just that - New York City pizza.

But hey, it was an evening out with my husband at a true New York City jewel!

I'm just going to enjoy some garins while I plant some chuirot

After an 80-plus-hour workweek, often the last thing my husband wants to do is go out again. While we usually go out on Saturdays, he prefers to stay in on Friday nights and Sundays.

Since our New York City apartment is roughly the same size as the living room of the condo we sold back in Ohio, it's tough to each do our separate thing. Plus, since weekends are the only time we really have to spend together, we've gotten into a pretty predictable routine of playing a word game - Scrabble or Upwords - either Friday or Sunday or sometimes even both days.

Because we're both headstrong first-born children, we're competitive by nature. And that competitiveness is especially apparent when we make a bet on the game's outcome. Sometimes we get creative, but the usual bet is that the loser has to give the winner a 10- to 20-minute back rub.

And with that on the line, each of us scrutinizes each other's every choice of word and every play. We've learned that while I have a more extensive vocabulary - naturally, as a writer should - Brent has a more interesting interpretation of the English language, meaning he simply makes words up, then spends time trying to convince me that they're real words. When he's proven wrong after I hand him a dictionary, he then attempts to convince me that our dictionary is outdated, and the words he wants to use were recently coined. (It's gotten so ridiculous that I've actually bought a new, official Scrabble dictionary to squash any of his ideas of new words. It comes in the mail soon.)

During our most recent Scrabble game, when it was apparent that I would win after I used up all of my letters spelling the word "pioneers," Brent got especially creative and hilarious, so I had to write down his last four pathetic attempts to get some major catch-up points.

These are examples of words and their supposed meanings that Brent attempted to play in our most recent Scrabble game:

garin: a type of strawberry

chia: a hairstyle, like a fro

chuirot: a type of grass, like crab grass

cbox: a gaming system, like the x-box

Even after nixing all of these words, Brent actually managed to catch up in score a little bit, making the last few plays crucial. When it came to be his turn, he decided to take a bathroom break.

AND HE TOOK HIS SLATE AND LETTERS WITH HIM TO THE BATHROOM.

At first, I thought he was kidding. But then he proceeded to continue to the bathroom with his letters.

Let's dissect this decision: What, if anything, would I have done differently if I had peeked at his letters? Each of us had the last few letters available, so I knew which ones he had by virtue of which letters had yet to be played. The number of letters available is written directly on the board. Did he think I would swap some of my letters for his? I'm pretty sure he would have noticed he no longer had the only "x." And even if he didn't right away, he would definitely have noticed had I tried to play it on a triple word square.

In the end, it didn't matter what Brent did because I won... but am still waiting for that winning back rub!