Never would have thought to ask...

I was recently reading my new favorite magazine, Real Simple, when I came across this article by a woman who thinks that as adults, so many of us don't ask enough about our mothers, whether that be because we're scared or just don't get around to it. Yet she says there's no better way to become closer to a person, even if you've known her all your life.

So, she asked a bunch of her friends and acquaintances to come up with 10 questions they want to ask their mothers (and, sadly, some wish they would have asked these questions before their mothers passed away).

I read that part of the article on the plane ride back to Ohio on Friday and immediately thought, "There's nothing in here that I don't know the answer to about my mom."

I was wrong.

Out of the 10 questions listed, I knew the answer to NOT A SINGLE ONE. So I made a vow right then and there to find some time with both of my parents (it was a Mother's Day article, but I thought, "Why limit it to just my mother?") and ask them these questions.

Two hours later, my mom, dad, sister, husband, and I had gone through a range of emotions from anger and worry to joy and roll-on-the-floor laughter. I have never felt so close to my parents and feel blessed to have been able to ask them these questions, some of which my mom said later she wished she would have known what my grandmother - her mother - would have thought about a few of them.

Don't wait before asking your parents these questions:

1. What’s the one thing you would have done differently as a mom?
2. Why did you choose to be with my father?
3. In what ways do you think I’m like you? And not like you?
4. Which one of us kids did you like the best?
5. Is there anything you have always wanted to tell me but never have?
6. Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising our family?
7. Is there anything you regret not having asked your parents?
8. What’s the best thing I can do for you right now?
9. Is there anything that you wish had been different between us―or that you would still like to change?
10. When did you realize you were no longer a child?

In asking these questions, I learned a whole lot more about my parents' relationship with each other, the qualities they admired about me, qualities I didn't know about them, the kinds of parties my mom believes kids are into these days, and how my perception of what our financial situation was like while I was growing up was quite different from reality. And my husband learned a whole lot about his wife and how she got to be the way she is.

The whole conversation was fascinating, and when it ended, I remember thinking that I never wanted it to end. But what made me sad is that I can't remember a time we'd ever sat down and really talked. I'm sure that's not just my family; but most families, which is a shame. Unless it's a life-changing event, like a funeral, or a once-every-X-number-of-years event, like a family reunion, people don't sit down and talk about things that really matter.

I'm glad I did.