OF COURSE the egg hatched into a rooster so the chicken could come before the egg. Obviously.

I have found the guy version of me.


And weirdly enough, he's a colleague of mine at the coffee shop.


We often remark offhand that we must have been twins. However, because people naturally look at us weird after we say that (besides the fact that he's a few years younger than me and a few inches taller, he's also black and could pass for Will Smith's younger brother) we then explain that we're twins with two different mothers and fathers. Obviously.


Whenever we work together, nothing gets done. All we do is laugh. It's now to the point that all I have to do is make eye contact with him after walking in the coffee shop for the beginning of my shift and I laugh because I'm thinking about a conversation we had the day before.


We talk about former colleagues turning into cockroaches and haunting New York City. We talk about his (made-up) obsession with our district manager and his cat. We talk about the jokes we made up involving both a lemon loaf and a butter croissant drinking in a bar together. We talk about catching monkeys in Grenada and training them work at the coffee shop I'm opening that won't include either frappuccinos or customers.


And now since we know nothing will get done when we're together, we try to take our breaks at the same time so we don't have to feel guilty just sitting and bullshitting about absolutely nothing. And I do mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The conversations don't even need to happen because they're just so ridiculous and add exactly zero value to anything, yet neither of us is willing to stop because it's so dang fun.


Here's a snippet of the conversation we had today:


Me as I was putting change away doing absolutely nothing that could be misconstrued as relating to Alice in Wonderland: "Hey Hansen! Do you think the Mad Hatter knew that the answer to whether the raven was like a writing desk before he asked the March Hare to get out the mouse from the teapot?"


Hansen without missing a beat as he was standing by the drink bar doing absolutely nothing that could be misconstrued as relating to chickens: "I think the chicken came before the egg."


Me: "Don't you think they'd need a rooster for that then?"


Hansen: "The egg hatched into a rooster."


Me: "Oh, OK! That makes complete sense."