Monday, March 21, 2011

A walking contradiction at a stoplight

I don't know how many of you know this, but Katy Perry wrote the song "Hot and Cold" for me and my life. But she shortened some of the lyrics to make it flow better musically. And I agreed because she's the musician; I'm just the inspiration for the song. It could be a true story.

"You change your mind / Like a girl changes clothes." If the line were actually, "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes as she's trying to decide what to wear for a first date with a guy she's been persuing who FINALLY said yes," then bingo. I could be in the middle of a sentence - like ordering from a menu at a restaurant - and change my mind as I'm saying, "I'll have the pepperoni pizza, well done with a... no wait, let's go with the Greek pizza with a side of oh hey the Hawaiian pizza looks good; I'll have that."

"And you / Overthink" was shortened from the original line "And you / Overthink to the point that the wheels in your mind are on a spin machine powered by solar power and located directly on the sun's surface." It doesn't stop. It's why I change my mind at the restaurant - I overthink my choice. It can't be just what I'm in the mood for; it has to be which comes with the best sides, that I haven't eaten in awhile and is reasonably priced that pairs the best with what I chose to drink, which I decided on while not thinking of what I was going to order. Ironically, I get in trouble for not thinking as well. I just think it's because there's too much crammed into my head at once swirling around as if in an endless tornado that never ended up dropping Dorothy in Oz.

The lines "Cause your hot then you're cold / You're yes then you're no / You're in and you're out / You're up and you're down / You're wrong when it's right / It's black and it's white / We fight, we break up / We kiss, we make up" pretty much stayed the same because how else can you explain a walking contradiction (except in the song "Walking Contradiction" by Green Day)?

One minute I feel so strongly about something - like I really truly feel it and have myself convinced that it's absolutely, positively, and without a doubt right. And shortly thereafter, I have myself convinced just as much if not more about the exact opposite. This unfortunately applies mostly to big decisions, which makes it nearly impossible to make any because I'm constantly second-guessing myself. I just can't seem to be able to make a big decision and stick to it.

"Someone call the doctor / Got a case of a love bi-polar / Stuck on a roller coaster / Can't get off this ride." I have come to realize how stupid it is when people compare their lives to a roller coaster - meaning life's ups and downs - and hate that I've actually used this cliche myself in the past. First of all, the "up" parts of a roller coaster are just something to make you anticipate what's to come: the way more fun "down" part. Nobody thinks the downs in life are better than the ups, and I can't speak for anyone else, but I enjoy pretty much the whole ride when I'm on an actual roller coaster.

Therefore, while the beginning of the line absolutely did not change one bit because nothing is more accurate than saying I have a case of a love bi-polar, the original line ended with "Was on this roller coaster / But was forced to get off the way fun ride."

If only life could be a roller coaster. Then, first of all, it'd be on a set course with no chance of diverting onto another one. Sure, there would be some snags along the way - the levers might jam or you might get stuck and at a dead stop once in awhile - but at least you'd know where it was going at all times. I'd choose a roller coaster's ups and downs before I'd choose the ones that come with life. Too many unknowns, unanswered questions, and important decisions that I can make but can't.

I'm a walking contradiction at a stoplight. Awesome.

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