Are you trying to POISON me?

"Hey!" I said while spearing a suspicious item lying beneath a long noodle in my Asian stir-fry. "Is this a mushroom?"

"No," said my two fellow diners at the small food magazine where I work.

"You guys said that a little too quickly and too in unison," I said to the editorial director and our chef while taking a closer look at what most definitely was a beech mushroom.

"This is a mushroom!" I said obviously and accusingly while shooting a glare at our chef, who was trying not very hard to conceal a smile because he knows very well that I absolutely hate mushrooms.

"I figured you wouldn't notice because they look so much like the noodles," he said, laughing. "I was going to tell you after we were done, even though you had, like, three big ones on your plate that you somehow kept eating around."

"You know how much I hate...wait, you were watching me eat the whole time?" I asked him. "Not gonna lie - that's kinda creepy."

"No, I was watching your plate the whole time," he replied. "If I'm going to be creepy, let's be clear on how I'm doing it."

"And let me be clear that that's still kinda creepy, but since you went to so much trouble, I might as well try it," I said while popping the mushroom in my mouth, chewing, and waiting for that disgusting mushroom flavor... that never came.

"Hey!" I said. "This just tastes like rubber!"

"And that's a good thing?" the chef asked, laughing.

"Well, it's better than tasting all mushroom-y," I replied.