I swear that every single person in this ridiculously tiny-for-eight-million city is out to irritate me today.
It's freaking hot outside, and if the windows aren't open, it's as stuffy as my couch in my apartment. Yes, the air conditioner works, but since I'm not making any money anymore, I need to conserve some savings. Conserving energy and electricity is an added bonus of leaving the AC off.
Besides, I live on an island, so there's usually always a nice breeze I can capture with the windows open. And I like the windows open... in Ohio.
In New York City, every single freaking person who has a car has a horn. And I'm telling you that the stereotypes are true. I can count the number of times I've been the one behind the wheel in New York City on one hand, but I can still attest to the fact that if I'm at a red light and my foot hadn't slammed down on the gas a split second BEFORE the light turns green in anticipating of it turning, I'd get horn blasts from the car behind me and the car behind the car behind me and - just for good measure - beside me on BOTH sides as well. It's enough for me to say that I'll keep the times I've driven in New York to how many I can tick off on one hand, thank you very much.
Therefore, if I'm sitting alone at home on my laptop theoretically, oh, let's say trying to determine the point of view for my make-believe magazine's website to establish the connection between the print vehicle and the digital one, my concentration is out the open window because all I can think about is WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SO LOUD!?!?!
Horn blasts every few seconds is the norm. I get it. But apparently someone has locked a toddler in the front seat of a car across the street because all I've been hearing for the last it seems like decades is his joyfully playing with a toy that makes a loud noise: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Beeep, beep, beeeeebeeeeeep. Beep, beep, beeeeeeeebebebebeeeeeep, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
To top off the car-related irritation is the fact that Best Buy is apparently having a sale on stereo systems because right outside my window is an intersection and, therefore, a light that occasionally turns red. Apparently the number of times it turns red is directly related to the number of cars tricked out with an eardrum-shattering stereo system that need to stop there. In the last 6 minutes, I've heard rap, folk music, hip-hop, rock, and - believe it or not - classical music blasting at decibels that have to be just under the amount that would shatter a windshield.
And OK, I understand that the homeless and jobless have to keep themselves occupied with the free time they have on their hands, but does that mean that they have to create a park band?? What is a park band, you ask? Well, a park band is a lot like a garage band except they don't have a garage to practice in. But like many garage bands, a park band is also exceptionally loud and tone-deaf. While garage bands are limited to the number of "musicians" that can fit in a garage, park bands can have a larger number of participants because they have an entire park for people to occupy. And though garage bands practice in such a way that really the only people who can hear them are in the household occupying the house attached to the garage and its immediate neighbors, park bands can share their "gift" with an entire neighborhood.
Hey Mayor Bloomberg - know those signs that say "HORN HONKING, $500 FINE?" You do? Really? THEN WHY THE HELL ARE WE IN A RECESSION?!?!?!?!? We'd be out of it in a single freaking Sunday afternoon if the police force would actually act on this "law!"
Sheesh.
1 comment:
It really is a $500 fine for honking your horn? Maybe the mayor needs to use reverse psychology and no longer make it a fine then probably no one will blow their horn.Mom
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