Wait... you were actually just being nice?

When I first moved to the city, I knew exactly one person: Brent.


And since his job requires him to work 25-hour days during the week, I'm on my own quite a bit Monday through Friday.


And since I'm a social person who needs friends, one of the first things I did when I moved here was hop on Craigslist to find a book club. That was an awesome idea, and something I'm still enjoying every month.


But since I need basketball in my life (that's right - NEED) I found this amazing charity-based social sports league called Zogsports, and was lucky enough to be placed on a team of great people. This is where it's been especially apparent to me that guys living in New York are quite different than some of the guys I've been around in the Midwest.


Now I know I'm generalizing, but it just seems that guys from where I grew up have their own agendas and are always striving to prove something, whether that be that they CAN get that girl's phone number or they CAN drink their buddies under the table, etc.


So when I talk to guys here, I've found myself surprised on more than one occasion that a nice conversation with a guy ended at just that: a nice conversation. They didn't end with them trying to get my phone number or asking me out or anything. What? They were just talking to me for the sake of having a conversation on the train or at the bar? It's not something I'm used to, and especially being the married woman that I am, it's a refreshing and pleasant change.


Which brings me back to the guys on my basketball team. We have been together for several seasons now, but this summer season, I'm the only girl on our co-ed team. And while the guys treat me like one of the guys on the court, off the court, they're always asking me if I'm OK (I have to play every minute of every game, which in the heat outside gets pretty rough sometimes) and always tell me how well I'm playing. They've even gotten to the point where they don't ask anymore before grabbing my always-too-stuffed bag off my shoulder so they can carry it for me.


And before I felt comfortable with the city, one of the guys always rode the subway or bus home with me even though he lived more than a half a mile uptown from me. And now, even though I'm comfortable with finding my way around the city, the guy who happens to live around the corner from me always walks with me down to the "scary gym" in a more deserted, outskirt area of Manhattan.


And I feel sad that I still catch myself feeling incredulous that they're doing all of this for me because they're truly nice guys and not because they want something from me except probably my friendship and company.


What I'm not amazed by, however, is that New York is still throwing curve balls at me: I'm always discovering some new, fun place or event to shake up life!