I'll never look at food the same way again

Because I'm a supervisor at my coffee shop job, and we serve food and drinks there, I was required to attend a two-day health class to learn about the dangers that food can pose so I can help keep our customers safe.

I have never been somewhere where the words "diarrhea," and "vomit" were used so frequently.

After 16 hours of learning about all the disgusting bacteria that can grow on food, and what can happen to a human body after consuming said food, I have not been able to look at anything edible the same way since.

I now know that 93 percent of food borne outbreaks comes from bacteria, and that populations can double every 20 to 30 MINUTES. Yikes. Plus, you can't see, taste, or smell bacteria, which is where it gets really scary because all food within 41 degrees to 140 degrees is considered to be in the food temperature danger zone, which is the prime temperature for bacteria reproduction. Yuck!

And since my instructor used real-life examples, like why you should think twice about using the soft butter that comes with the bread basket at a restaurant, (if the butter is soft, it's been sitting at room temperature - 70 degrees or so - and therefore in the danger zone) I've been constantly thinking about every single bite.

I almost threw out what turned out to be a perfectly good serving of sweet potato and turkey sausage stew that had been sitting in the refrigerator for six days because, in class, I learned that the fridge merely SLOWS down bacterial growth (the freezer stops it). Even though it still tasted good, I couldn't help but think about all the bacteria that was swarming in every spoonful.

Some good did come out of the class, though, not only for my job but also for myself at home. I learned the safe internal cooking temperatures for poultry (165 degrees), ground meat (158 degrees), and other protein (145 degrees) to kill any harmful bacteria, and learned how to cool large amounts of food - like the leftovers from my crock pot - so there aren't pockets of hot food that create a breeding ground for bacteria.

Yet, there were some aspects of the class that were just downright annoying. The instructor actually told us to simulate WASHING OUR HANDS. That's right. He sat there while we PRETENDED we were standing at a sink with soap and water, then showed us the areas of our hands that are sometimes missed, like the tips. We spent, like, an hour on this. Sigh. But hey, I was being paid to be bored.


And I actually had to pay attention the whole time because we not only had to take four quizzes over two days, but we also had to retain the information to take the New York City Food Safety Certification exam. All food-service establishments in the city - from the fruit carts scattered around the city to the five-star restaurants - need to have an on-duty certified food safety manager present at all times.

If I pass the test, I can legally run my own shifts at the coffee shop job without a manager present (even though I've been doing it for months already).


If I don't pass, I'll have to take the class again: something I'm NOT going to do. So I'm going to dust off those college study skills and kick some ass - minus the diarrhea - the first time!