The show must go on!

After weeks of memorizing, changing, practicing, changing, refining, changing, improving, and changing the play I was recently cast in, this past weekend finally arrived and it was finally time to perform Inside Voices At The Girl Aquarium.

It’s been a fascinating journey, to say the least.

Since this very well may be my first and last acting gig, this weekend was finally time for my Off-Off Broadway debut as Ms. Dee, a social worker and poet who encourages teenage girls to let out their anger at their abusive boyfriend/rapist/pimp by writing and reciting angry poems.

“Why the hell are you guys all so calm?” I hissed at the five other girls who were also performing in the play as I was pacing back and forth backstage. “Why am I the only one nervous as all hell?”

“We don’t get nervous until right before we go on,” one of them informed me, as they all laughed at me tying and then untying my scarf into knots and chomping down on my gum.

After another 20 minutes of not calmly sitting down, it was time for the show to start.

“OK, girls, we’re all set,” the director informed all of us.

“Oh geez!/Breathe!/Whew!/Aaaahhhh!/Oh man!” they all started at once, hands flailing for each other for jittery hugs.

“Oh yeah, NOW you guys know what I've felt like all day!” I said to them as I joined in the nervous hug pile.

As we took our places onstage, I had a quick opportunity to steal a few glances into the audience to see a bunch of my friends there to support me - Janine, Rusty, Albert, Anne, and Reena. (I love my friends!)

But then, the show began.

Oh crap! EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME! I thought the second the lights came up. Calm down, calm down, take a breath - there are other actors on stage. Not EVERYONE can be looking at me at the same time... oh, and PAY ATTENTION so you don't miss your cue! In a few minutes you're going to have to stand on a chair and yell a Ferlinghetti poem... OH GOD! IN A FEW MINUTES I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STAND ON A CHAIR AND YELL A POEM! Oh yeah, and stop my hands from shaking! And NOT FORGET MY LINES. WHAT IF I FORGET MY LINES?!?! WHAT IF I FALL OFF THE CHAIR?!?!?!


And cue mini-panic that quickly subsided once I got into the poem and all the practice flooded back into me. And my confidence soared once I did NOT fall off the chair, and all I had to do was deliver my lines in the most convincing way possible - like I had practiced for weeks before.


Though I had a few "oh crap, what's my next line?" moments, it was because I overthought it, and the line shot back to me right when the actress before me said hers.


In fact, everything went smoothly with all the other actresses as well, and I couldn't help the smile creep onto my face when I said my last line, "And then we'll never" and the lights went black.


And I really couldn't hide my smile when I lined up for the bow and my friends started hooting and hollering.


Though I have a feeling this will be my first and last acting experience (I wouldn't be able to handle all that rejection!), it sure was a rush I won't soon forget.

I'll admit it when I'm wrong... this acting thing is harder than I thought

When people find out that I've been cast in a play, they usually say something along the lines of, "I didn't know you were an actress!"

Lately, I've been correcting them, saying, "I'm not. I just play one in this one play."

Acting is a lot harder than I thought.

During our first rehearsal, the director began by telling us a little bit about our characters, so we could "start making some decisions" on what we were going to do with them.

Um, my character- Miss Dee - is a poet and a teacher, so doesn't that mean that what I'll be doing is pretending to be a poet and a teacher? Absolutely not.

Apparently, what that means is we are supposed to decide how we're going to play our characters. Is my character the type of teacher who's loud and loves attention or quiet and timid? Is she exploring or struggling with her life in some way? What are her mannerisms like? Does she have an accent?

I learned this after hearing the actual actresses say things like, "I want to explore my character's sexuality a little bit. Maybe she's struggling with the fact that she's a lesbian." Or, "I feel like my character is funny and could say some of the lines louder with maybe a Bronx-like accent." Etc.

I contributed very little to this discussion because I thought I was just supposed to follow the stage directions, like when it says, "she shakes her fist" I should, well, shake my fist.

There is a little more to this acting thing than I originally thought. I really hope I don't suck at it.

Stepping into someone else's shoes to tell their story

Excerpt from an e-mail I received just after 10 p.m. tonight:

"Hi Everyone,

Here is the cast for the play:

Ms. Dee - Erika

Autumn - Ingrid

Adela - Ellie

Tamara - Maxine

Lulu - Kayla

Celeste - Danielle

Musician - Miranda

Our first rehearsal will be at Friday 7 p.m. The plan is to talk about the characters and read through the script as a full cast with a completed script..."

That's right: The "Erika" who will be playing Ms. Dee is me.

I actually got the part. Never saw that one coming.

I've lived in New York for nearly two-and-a-half years, and have tried many extracurricular activities (knitting class, painting class, basketball league, and book club to name a few) to not only have some fun, but find some friends. Although I didn't move here to pursue an acting career - like the 6.5 out of the 8.3 million New Yorkers did - now that I'm around it all the time, it's hard not to catch the acting bug.

A bunch of my friends are trying to make it as actors (no surprises there) and I live just a few blocks away from Broadway, which is home to some incredible shows. (As a Mother's Day gift for my mom and a birthday gift to myself, I again bought tickets to see Wicked. It was that good the first time around.)

When I told my mom that I got the part, she immediately asked: "So, is this play going to be right on Broadway?" and then laughed when I told her no, but that it would be shown in a theatre in the new Off-Off Broadway theatre district.

I've always had a fascination with acting, but never had the opportunity to do it in high school (I swear the high school drama teacher had it out for me!). So now that I do have this opportunity, I'm going to make the most of it. I have to say that I'm about as excited as I am nervous.

Now to start - gulp! - memorizing these pages upon pages of lines, which Maxine said was the easy part. She says the hard part is actually acting them out. As of now, I'm going to stick to my guns that acting isn't as hard as she makes it out to be.

Time will tell if I turn out to be totally wrong.

Should have kept my mouth shut, although it'd be hard to say my lines

Once again, my big mouth has gotten me into trouble.

It started with me good-naturedly teasing my former coffee shop colleague, Maxine, who is an actress enrolled in the American Musical & Dramatic Academy (AMDA) for acting.

“So instead of English and math class, you go to classes with names like ‘Improve 101: Make Stuff Up As You Go Along’ and ‘Pantomiming Like Someone Believes You’re Really Saying Something?’” I would say to her, and then she’d laugh and try and defend herself.

I have to admit that I would often bring up Maxine’s acting because I was actually interested to hear about the types of things she was learning. I’ve never really done any acting before, and Maxine has dedicated her college career to it, so I very much enjoyed hearing about something someone else is so passionate about.

She told me that in one of her classes, each student had to stand up in front of his or her peers and tell a story. The moment it became boring, each student was instructed to get up and leave the room, which teaches the students how to remain engaging and keep people’s attention. She also told me about the time they were told to do a monologue while pretending to be some type of animal, like a tiger or monkey.

But nothing she said really convinced me that acting was difficult. You essentially memorize some lines and then pretend to be someone else, and I remember telling this to Maxine a number of times in the year or so that I’ve known her… which I regretted immediately after getting her phone call yesterday evening.

“Hey, Erika! You know how you always say that acting is easy?” she asked me. “Well, I just was cast in this play that I think has the perfect part for you, and I think you should read for it.”

“I have just one question. Is this part the lead? Because I would only consider trying out for a lead role,” I joked.

“Well… kind of,” she replied. “I thought the playwright was going to play her, but I guess not.”

“Wait, you think I should try out for the lead?” I asked her. “Are you crazy? All joking aside, you know I have no experience with acting!”

“Yeah, I know but the character is a teacher who teaches poetry, and I know that you like poetry,” she replied. “Plus, the other parts are teenagers and we need someone older – not that you’re old or anything…”

“Thanks for clarifying,” I said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean!” she replied. “Anyway, we need someone who looks older who can play the part. And why not? Acting is easy, right?”

Crap, I thought. I mean I can’t not go or that would be pretty hypocritical.

“Right,” I said, sighing, trying to come up with a way out without having to admit that there just might be some skill to this whole acting thing. “It sounds interesting but, come on, do you really think the playwright would even want someone with no experience?”

“If you’re good,” she said. “Meet me at the coffee shop on Friday and I’ll go with you to the audition.”

“OK, fine,” I said hesitantly, then hung up.

This will be interesting.