Though it had been nearly 45 minutes of waiting at the doctor's office until I was actual lying on the exam table, I felt like I had been holding my breath the entire time while admittedly negative thoughts kept swirling around in my mind.
Did it get bigger?
Has it become malignant?
What if things aren't OK this time?
I was, of course, thinking the worst about the lump I found in my breast back in May, which I now know is a tumor. It turned out to be a benign tumor, but it's a tumor nonetheless. After a biopsy and a horrific several-days wait to find out that it's benign six months ago, here I am again revisiting this small, but still scary, mass that has somehow formed on the side of my breast under my armpit and the doctors can't tell me why. All they know is that it should be monitored twice a year to make sure nothing has changed.
While the technician gave me yet another breast ultrasound, I actually did hold my breath while gently tugging at my hair to hold back the tears because I was absolutely terrified that things might not work out so well this time. Luckily, that was not the case. The lump has changed neither changed in size nor location, and is not bothering me. So I'm fine for now, thank God. Hopefully the news is just as good in six months.
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