There's a time and a place for that, dude - leave it in your pants

There's a time and a place for everything.

When there's a line several people deep for the only public restroom in a coffee shop, you shouldn't be in there smoking a cigarette. Or five cigarettes, for all the time you spent in there.

I get it - it's snowing outside (for only the second time since I moved here on Dec. 5- sweet!) and it's cold, so you don't want to inconvenience yourself by going outside to smoke. So you'll politely inconvenience paying customers who just want to pee.

That's bad enough.

What's inexcusable is leaving semen all over the sink and floor of a public restroom - one that I'm partially responsible for cleaning.

I wish I was making that up, but yes, someone (possibly the smoker. We're not sure.) did masterbate all over the sink and floor of the restroom at the coffee shop that I work at. And I did throw up in my mouth a little bit and I wasn't even the one who had to clean it up. That's just sick.

Thank God for coworkers with stomaches of steel who volunteer for the job.

Besides, they couldn't pay me enough to clean that up. I told my boss flat out that if he would have asked me to do it, I would have flat out told him no.

God I need a real job.